Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A letter to my little peanut on the day I found out that you exist

Written November 15, 2011

Dear little peanut,

This morning, your daddy and I found out that we are going to be lucky enough to be your parents. Honestly, it still doesn't seem real. I've dreamed about this day for so long - we have been talking about it and you since long before we were married. 

It's so very hard to imagine what our lives with you will be like, but at the same time it's easy. To tell you the truth, I don't feel pregnant. I feel like normal me - I wonder when I'll really start to feel you grow. When will it sink in that we've created a human who will talk and laugh and play?

The moment I saw that pregnancy test tell me that you're coming into my life, I started crying. I thought about the profound change you'll bring to our family and continued to dream about that change for the rest of the day.

You are so lucky, little one! You have a whole bunch of grandparents, aunts and uncles who will be so excited to meet you in 9 months. They'll shower you with love and I hope you know that any of them (Especially mom and dad) would do anything in this world to make you happy. I feel like a few of them (Specifically your Grammas and your Aunt Rose) might be anticipating your existence even more than daddy and me (Okay not possible... but close)! They've been talking about you for years - just wait until you meet them!

I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I hope that you will grow up with confidence and know that you can be anything you want to be. I want you to do your best at anything you do. I wish for you to be a kind person who has empathy for other people. No matter what, we'll always be proud of you!

You've already made the biggest difference in my life. I love you little one, and I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to snuggle you, and kiss you, and protect you. 

I love you forever,

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The day we found out

On November 15, 2011 I got up at 7 a.m. and took a pregnancy test. James knew that I'd be testing that day, and he was still home but didn't know I was doing it at that moment.

You're supposed to wait 2 minutes to read the test results. I probably waited 20 seconds pacing around the bedroom, then looked at the test and was shocked to see a super clear POSITIVE result!!

I took another one the next day, and another two days after that ;)
Right as I realized it, James walked into the room and I said "It's positive. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's positive." (Or something like that). I was in disbelief - I had only seen negative results before and made him check it to make sure I was reading it correctly!

I teared up and started crying, we hugged, and I think we were both extremely shocked and didn't know what to do. We just hugged, smiled and talked about the next steps (when the first doctor appointment would be) for the next 30 minutes until he had to go to work.

Other than that, it was kind of a normal day. I went to do my weekly volunteering at Sacramento Food Bank & Family Services, did laundry and made dinner. Throughout the day I felt a little crampy and maybe more warm than usual but overall felt like regular old me.

Surreal is probably the best way to describe it. It's so hard to imagine at first. Yes we'd been trying for a few months but I had no clue what it would actually feel like to know that we succeeded at creating a little human. It's amazing!!

Friday, January 27, 2012

14 weeks

I'm all caught up on the weekly updates now! Sorry for the overload, these will now be once a week occurrences. I'm presently 14 weeks.

The other day I noticed that my belly button is growing!! Super weird! It's like... wider and bigger... because it's being stretched in every direction.

I'm really starting to love pregnancy. Yes it's hard at times but it's so amazing and there's something new every day! It seems like every night I say to J "Look how pregnant I look now! I'm bigger!" Then the next night it's "Look how pregnant I look today!"

I think I'm getting stretch marks already though. Before I had it a tiny bit on my hips/sides from growing, and I think they're getting worse! I know I'm prone to get them already because I've had them on my boobs always (well since I got boobs way back when ;)

Gender: Still can't decide if I want to know! J wants to.

Size of baby: The size of a lemon (last week was a peach, which I think is way bigger than a lemon)
Sleep: So uncomfortable!! My back and shoulders are killing me. The Snoogle helps some nights, but not always.

Movement: Nope but it could be in a few weeks. That will be so exciting!

Feeling: So much better! The nausea creeps around at times, but I can at least get hungry without feeling horrible. Round ligament pain sometimes, tired sometimes. But hooray 2nd tri!

What I miss: Liking food. There's still not a ton that actually sounds good to me.

What I'm looking forward to: Our anatomy scan on March 2. We haven't had an ultrasound since baby was just a tiny bean.

Best moment this week: Hearing our little pumpkin kick at my appointment. Amazing! I also spent an afternoon with my friend who's also pregnant. We had lunch and went shopping for maternity clothes and had mucho fun.

Worst moment this week: Bad sleep most nights. Besides being uncomfortable and having back pain, I have to pee so much.

Milestones: This pregnancy has now been announced to the world - i.e. Facebook, of course ;)

The baby can now suck its thumb (OMG!), wiggle its toes, make urine and breath amniotic fluid. The liver, kidneys and spleen are developing. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

We bought a stroller this week! It feels premature but was such a great deal. I did quite a bit of research to find a stroller to fit our needs - we love to go on long walks around the neighborhood almost every day and want a stroller that's easy to use for walking.

I found that the Baby Jogger City Mini would be perfect. This week Amazon had it on clearance sale for $100 off! I had been intending to look for it used on Craigslist for this price, but we got it brand new. So, hooray!

I had the best time putting it together and taking a test drive around the house ;) hehe. I'm not normally one to choose anything in red, but they only had red and orange on sale. I actually like that it's different from what I'd normally choose.

Cravings: Honeydew melon, cantaloupe and bakery french bread are a few things I'm really liking.

Food aversions: Meat still. Yuck!!

13 weeks

(Originally written on January 19, 2012)

Hey 2nd trimester!! I'm sooo thankful to be here!

Gender: ??

Size of baby: A peach! Holy big!!
Sleep: The Snoogle is here and it works! Yes, it's comically large and it took a few nights to get used to. But since I got it, sleep is so much more comfortable and consistent. Still not normal, but better. I tried a night without it and slept like crap again.

Movement: None

Feeling: So hungry all the time. And tired. And barfy.

I'd also like to say that my mood has been pretty lovely this pregnancy, especially to my husband. There has been some grumpiness of course (just like normal), but I think I'm pleasant for the most part! I've cried just a few times for silly reasons :\

What I miss: Not planning my day around when I might feel yucky or insanely hungry.

What I'm looking forward to: Our next prenatal appointment on Monday! Can't wait to see/hear our little peach.

Best moment this week: I went to a baby shower last weekend that was lots of fun. Also spent an afternoon with my mom, which is always a good time :)

Worst moment this week: Nothing too bad. I guess throwing up! But honestly, I think feeling like you need to barf all afternoon is worse than actually doing it. Sorry, TMI!

Milestones: Baby is forming teeth and vocal cords as well as approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy.

When I read my weekly email from thebump.com to J I totally teared up. A peach is so big and teeth are so grown up! Our little peanut means so much to us!!

Another milestone was throwing up for the first time (outside of when I had the stomach flu).

Cravings: Nothing... I hate food! :(

Food aversions: Everything, especially chicken.

12 weeks

(Originally written on January 12, 2012)

Second trimester is right around the corner! And with the exception of one crappy nauseous-all-day day, it feels like my symptoms are letting up. As long as I keep enough food in my belly I feel pretty good. Okay I take all that back. The last two days of the week sucked! I felt so crappy and nauseous.

Gender: No clue. Well I've leaned toward boy all along, but only slightly.

Size of baby: The size of a plum

Sleep: Uncomfortable! And it's making my back, hips and shoulders hurt during the day. I tried laying on my belly and it felt like all my organs were being smushed. So it's side only, for many more months. I have ordered my Snoogle though (FYI the cheapest I found it was at drugstore.com).

Movement: No

Feeling: So lucky to be able to be a momma!! I've said to J so many times, "Can you believe that we succeeded in creating a person?!" It's just so darn fantastic! Oh here's a new feeling - pretty sure I've had a few instances of round ligament pain even though I've read that's not until 2nd tri.

What I miss: Loving food... and beer sounds kind of yummy.

What I'm looking forward to: Having a cute bump and filling out cute maternity clothes. I bought 1 shirt at Target and a pair of jeans at Kohls. Oh so much better than real jeans! I also bought some baby clothes while I was out :) They were all on clearance.

"Wishes do come true"

"I have a play date!" Not completely gender neutral, but come on! I have a play date!! So adorable.

Thanksgiving pants. Turkey on the butt and the feet say "Gobble!"

Trio of ducky onesies
Best moment this week: Playing Trivial Pursuit with my family. Pregnancy-related... sharing this with my hubby, and seeing him talk to my belly every day :) (No deep conversations, just "hi baby!" when he gets home from work)

Worst moment this week: Nearly puking.

Milestones: Buying my first maternity clothes.

As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed. (from thebump.com)

Cravings: Nothin.

Food aversions: Chicken. OMG, poor hubby. I asked for a BBQ beef sandwich from Beach Hut Deli and he came home with BBQ chicken. So gross! I was nice, but could pretty much only eat the bread.

11 weeks

(Originally written on January 5, 2012)

This week I bought Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion for stretch marks to put on my belly/hips. I know the facts show that it probably won't help, but I figure it can't hurt!

Gender: No idea

Size of baby: Lime
Sleep: I've been having weird dreams and waking up frequently. It's hard to get and stay comfortable.

Movement: Nope

Feeling: I was thisclose to throwing up one morning. Absolutely must eat first thing... and right before bed... and about every 2 hours. I'm sooo hungry all the time! I thought for a minute that my aversion to most foods was fading when I had a Chicago Fire craving (that was of course fed), but it's still sticking around. Also, it's not consistent, but I've had a few days when I was completely exhausted by 3 p.m. and needed a nap!

What I miss: Cooking delicious dinners (pretty much haven't cooked in a month).

What I'm looking forward to: 2nd tri and telling the world!

Best moment this week: New Years Eve was lots of fun - we went to our friends' annual party. Talking about the pregnancy with everyone made it feel a lot more real. I was super tired but happily made it until midnight (though, we were home by 12:30 :)

Worst moment this week: Bad sleep - waking up throughout the night. Must order my Snoogle (pregnancy body pillow) ASAP!

Milestones: My jeans are getting really uncomfortable when I'm sitting down. I put all my extra tight ones up high in the closet since I won't be needing them for quite some time.

Baby's fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
Cravings: Mangoes! I've been having one every day.

Food aversions: Chicken, beef, beans.

10 weeks

(Originally written on December 29, 2011)

Gender: Don't know and don't know if I want to know!

Size of baby: I believe that's a prune. Though it looks like a brain!
Sleep: Good :)

Movement: Nope

Feeling: Nauseous most days in the afternoon. I bought ginger candy at Whole Foods Market (the only place I could find it) and that helps. It's not nearly as bad as last week after the flu though. I definitely feel a bigger belly... and I'm very thankful that I'm not working right now. I'm so much happier and being able to take it easy when I need to is fabulous! I'm a lucky gal.

What I miss: Nothing!

What I'm looking forward to: New Years Eve and buying baby gear! I've been looking into cloth diapers, strollers, cribs, etc. I'm actually surprised I haven't bought anything yet.

Best moment this week: Christmas. Look what James got!!

Worst moment this week: Morning (aka afternoon) sickness.

Milestones: With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

Cravings: Chocolate... just because there's too much Christmas candy around.

Food aversions: Beans, chicken, beef.

9 weeks

(Originally written on December 22, 2011)

On Monday I got a stomach bug that had me throwing up every hour for almost 12 hours. Oh it was horrible! At first I thought it was morning sickness but quickly realized it was not and got a little worried. I called the Kaiser advice line and they said baby is fine as long as I could stay hydrated. She gave me tips like staying on the BRAT diet, and the next day I was feeling much better. Still very nauseous though.

Boom! Belly! Really I think it was the loose shirt that made it look so big, because it didn't look like that the following week :)
Gender: I had a dream that we had a girl and named her Annalise. In the dream I kept wondering why we chose that name - it's fine but nothing we've considered!

Size of baby: An olive
Sleep: Good!

Movement: None of course

Feeling: Weak and nauseous in recovery from my stomach flu. I've forgotten to mention the past few weeks that my boobs are growing and sore! Also, I've noticed sore abs - they feel like I've been doing sit-ups but they're just stretching. Very weird!

What I miss: Having lots of energy.

What I'm looking forward to: Our next prenatal appointment in a month. A friend told me how much you can see baby move at that point so that will be exciting!

Best moment this week: Going to my sis' house in SF.

Worst moment this week: Being sick on Monday. A particular family member's reaction to the news was also pretty crappy: "You are, huh?" Basically didn't care and didn't mention it again. I don't know, perhaps I'm being self-centered.

Milestones: I threw up for the first time in the pregnancy. Would love for it to be the last <----(I did again the day after I wrote that). The embryo is now officially a fetus.

Cravings: None

Food aversions: Everything still! Especially protein - meat and beans sound so gross.

8 weeks

(Originally written on December 14, 2011)

Week 7-8 felt pretty good! The cramps have subsided, woo hoo! The morning sickness stayed away for the most part - thanks to making myself eat a good breakfast (not just saltine crackers) as soon as I wake up.

In bump news, there's a little pooch on my lower abdomen that can no longer be sucked in like a few weeks ago! It's most noticeable to me without clothes on so you may not be able to tell in this picture. Even hubby says it looks the same in real life but I see a little bit of a difference!

Gender: Don't know

Size of baby: The size of a raspberry
Sleep: Pretty good. Still side sleeping and I'm getting used to it. Hubby's snoring is a major disturbance though!

Movement: Nope

Feeling: Well... I feel pregnant! Growing belly, exhausted from things like Christmas shopping, constantly hungry. Yep, definitely feel pregnant :) P.S. I love it!!

What I miss: Champagne and food tasting good.

What I'm looking forward to: Cooking daily again and eating good foods.

Best moment this week: It was a quiet week. Seeing a tiny bump emerge is fun (though it's really bloat at this point).

Worst moment this week: Being constantly hungry but hating all food. I need to eat because I feel nauseous if I don't, but finding something I can stomach is quite the feat.

Milestones: I don't wear a belt with my jeans anymore. Baby is growing about a millimeter every day and moving its arms, legs, fingers and toes!

Cravings: Pizza, especially with pepperoni. That's what I thought until I had some... not that great :( I am liking fruity/sweet stuff - gummy candy, smoothies, popcicles.

Food aversions: Most food, especially meat. Poor hubby, I haven't cooked in so long! I just can't :(

7 weeks

(Originally written on December 7, 2011)

We had our first prenatal appointment this week! Details forthcoming in a separate post.

Gender: I still think boy.

Size of baby: A blueberry 
Sleep: Still side sleeping to avoid cramps... still less comfy than sleeping on my belly.

Movement: Nope

Feeling: I don't feel too fatigued until I try to exercise. Our walks this week have made me way more tired than they should :( Still pretty bad cramps - usually morning & night. However, excited that our bean is on schedule!

I've heard that morning sickness starts right on schedule at 6 weeks, and that was true for me! It's not too bad, just a frequent queasy feeling.

What I miss: Eating good food and liking it.

What I'm looking forward to: 2nd trimester, getting a belly, classes on birth, breastfeeding, infant care, etc. (How is this real??!!)

Best moment this week: Our tacky holiday sweater party. And hearing our baby's heartbeat!!! And seeing that I'm progressing normally.

Worst moment this week: Nerves that our peanut isn't healthy, but the first appointment was very reassuring. Also had another 3 a.m. cramps episode. I told my midwife about it and she confirmed that it's normal. She also asked if I get bad menstrual cramps (which I do) and she thinks that they're related. So look forward to that, ladies!

Milestones: Baby's arms and legs are emerging and forming joints, while the brain is generating 100 new cells every minute.

Cravings: Not much, though I had a Lean Pocket that hit the spot.

Food aversions: Everything! Especially meat & that onion in the fridge smells nasty.

6 weeks

(Originally written on November 30, 2011)

Gender: Unknown

Baby size: The size of a sweet pea. Too adorable!
From TheBump.com
Sleep: I'm normally a stomach sleeper, but that seems to be making my cramps worse so I've been sleeping on my sides. Which is much less comfortable. Between that and hubby's snoring, it's been a bit more difficult to fall asleep. Once I fall asleep, I'm great!

Movement: No

Feeling: Lazy! Major food aversion has arrived - nothing sounds appetizing. I was eating so great, but now meat/protein sounds so yucky to me.

What I miss: Not much :) (Except enjoying food)

What I'm looking forward to: Our first prenatal appointment on Monday! And our tacky sweater party on Friday.

Best moment this week: Sharing the news with our families on Thanksgiving - and Thanksgiving day/weekend in general.

Worst moment this week: Saturday night/Sunday morning. I was woken up at 3 a.m. with some of the worst cramps ever, hot, sweaty and nauseous. So painful! It's happened once since then but not as bad. My cramps seem to be getting a bit worse - everything I'm reading says it's normal and due to a growing uterus.

Milestones: "Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet - still webbed like paddles - might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate." -from thebump.com
Cravings: Fresh squeezed lemonade - easy thanks to our lemon tree.

Food Aversions: Almost everything but saltines.

5 weeks

(Originally written on November 23, 2011)


Gender: Unknown

Baby size: The size of an apple seed.
From TheBump.com

Sleep: Good... once I can actually fall asleep. I'm having weird pregnancy dreams too.

Movement: Nope

Feeling: Overall, fantastic! But sometimes sleepy and crampy, plus I've been congested for a few weeks. I really do feel great though.

What I miss: Nothing :)

What I'm looking forward to: Thanksgiving! All of our siblings will know after that.

Best moment this week: Telling our parents, putting up our Christmas tree, volunteering with my mom, and enjoying a Zumba class at the gym. In that order.

Worst moment this week: Nothing really. Can't complain!

Milestones: We told our parents about the pregnancy this week - they were and are thrilled :) The Bump tells me that baby is starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous). 

Cravings: Nothing - in fact my sweet tooth is nonexistent these days.

4 weeks

Here's my first belly picture!!! It was taken on November 15, 2011 - the day we found out! I'll tell you more about that day a little later.

That's just my normal plump self

Gender: I have a "boy" feeling right now. Not sure if we're going to find out.

Baby size: The size of a poppyseed - how cute :)
Image from thebump.com
Sleep: Some nights it's been normal/fine, some are sucky. Before I knew I was pregnant, I felt like hubby's snoring was getting louder but maybe that wasn't the reason...

Movement: Obviously not yet.

Feeling: Thrilled! Honored. Happy. Scared. Intimidated. Excited. Humbled. Physically: Not much different, though a tiny bit crampy and I had a few hot flash-type episodes.

What I miss: Is it bad to say wine already? 

What I'm looking forward to: Oh so much! Getting a baby belly, telling our families, going to our first doctor appointment, telling our friends, the fact that one of my close friends is due just a few weeks before me and our babies will be BFFs, buying maternity clothes...

Best moment this week: Finding out that we're expecting a little poppyseed!

Worst moment this week: Being afraid of anything bad happening to baby.

Milestones: I got through this first day without telling anyone - and I had so many opportunities during the day. Pretty impressed with that!

Cravings: Nothing really

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Back from blogging hiatus (with big news)!

Hello blogworld! It's been 2 months since my last post :( My laptop has been out of commission that whole time. Crazypants. Hubby has an ipod from work that I've been using to check the essentials, but blogging on that thing is a major PITA.

But honestly, I haven't had much to blog about anyway for the past few months. There's just one big thing that's been keeping me busy that I was waiting to share. I've been growing a human!!

Yep, we're expecting a baby around July 26. That puts me at 14 weeks today and we are soooo excited!! I have so many posts to catch you up on in the coming days. Weekly belly pics galore!