Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"Are you changing your name when you get married?"

Today I happened to see an article that kind of offended me. Click here to see it – it’s by a writer who seems to think she’s progressive and modern. I just think she’s judgmental and bossy.

Faith Salie makes the argument that women should not change their last names when they marry. It’s her opinion that the practice is sexist and women are giving up their identities when they give up their last name. She gives several examples of famous women who go by their maiden names as “proof” that this way is better, such as Mariah Carey and Vera Wang. Okay…

My opinion? It’s a personal choice. I’m not going to change my name because my fiance asks me to, nor will I because my father asks me to. And I’m certainly not going to do something just because a humor writer says I should. That decision is my own.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm fairly liberal with feminist views. And I am 90% sure that I’m going to change my last name when I get married next year. I’ve thought about it quite a bit. That 10% of hesitation is there because I do have a problem with the man being the one to always keep his name. But really, I dislike that just as much as a child always taking his or her father’s name. It’s the same problem, and they’re both equally sexist.

My main reason for wanting the same last name as my husband has to do with us being a family. We do want children, and I want all of us to share a name. I think that makes a lot of details easier and it’s just something I want for our future family.

To my reasoning, Salie says “Um, nuh-uh. Did your grandmother have the same last name as you? Was she still your Nana?” No, biatch. But my mother does have the same last name as me. Duh.

James doesn’t care what name I use. He recognizes that it’s completely up to me and that’s how husbands should treat the decision.

My whole point is that a person’s name is his or her own choice. I can do what I want. And you, Faith Salie, can do what you want. We all have that freedom and to judge other people on their choice is just petty and divisive.

P.S. - After I'm married please don't call me Mrs. James K. I have a first name. It's Chardonnay K. I do feel that calling someone Mrs. Husband's name does remove her identity. It says that all she is, is that little "s" after "Mr." Just personal preference.


MCW said...

Did she really use Mariah Cary as an example??? LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Please change your name

Your Father